Is Your Son Lacking Motivation?
Are you finding that your son seems to be more motivated to accumulate likes and retweets on social media than A’s on their report card?
Sounds like the typical teen, right?
This behavior is widespread among teens. The period of adolescence is full of change, evolution, and self-discovery. It is natural for adolescents to be a little reluctant to muster the motivation to adjust to a new and challenging learning environment.
How do you motivate your son to do what you want them to do?
How do you get your son to be self-motivated and to think of their future?
You need to understand why your son is lacking motivation and how you can play a more active role in preventing this occurrence.
Common Causes of Decreased Motivation
Change could be what is depleting your child’s motivation. The change in the social scene around middle school and especially high school is where adolescents start worrying about their social status. They wish to fit into an environment with definite cliques and hierarchies. It is common for kids who do well in school to become isolated and labeled “nerd.” During this time in their lives, young people don’t wish to be different. This tendency may be a reason why they begin to withdraw from academics.
Difficulty in the school’s curriculum is another cause of why teens may underperform in the classroom. When the workload increases, as well as the workload’s stress, your son could be so overwhelmed that he or she gives up. Your child may feel that they can’t meet expectations, so they cease trying. This occurrence is very prevalent among teens who have skill deficits due to learning or language deficiencies. On the other hand, the school’s curriculum and course load could prove not difficult enough to keep your student engaged. This pattern is especially common among gifted teens who would rather spend their time doing their learning of math, science, reading, and history instead of focusing on their school work. An adolescent could also be gifted in one specific subject, and thus they choose to spend their time on that one topic rather than the other subjects in their course load.
How to Motivate Your Teen Son
One standard method of motivation is external motivation. This area is where a parent could use incentives to make their child do what they want. This method could be in the form of rewards, such as eating out when your student receives good grades, or perhaps increasing your adolescent’s allowance when he or she is more helpful around the house. These can be effective methods of persuading your student to increase productivity, but the drawback is that once the rewards are removed, the proactive behavior may also dissipate.
Another incentive is to penalize or punish, your teen for engaging in unwanted behaviors, such as taking away electronics with the arrival of failing grades, or grounding him or her for skipping class. This strategy could improve your son’s performance, but it could also cause you to ignore the issue behind the cause of the failing grades and lack of desire to attend class. Keep in mind that incentives tend to be more effective in younger adolescents versus high school students. The most powerful form of motivation is the internal motivation that occurs when the teen is motivated to accomplish tasks due to their ambition.
How do you persuade your teen son to share your motivations?The two main factors that contribute to internal motivation are related to these questions:
- What are my future goals and plans?
- How do certain factors contribute to my future goals and plans?
These factors require being able to visualize goals and understand the value of what is necessary to obtain said goals. This principle can be applied to either short-term and long-term goals. Perhaps you wish for your teen to complete more chores around the house. In this case, you need to communicate to your child the ultimate reason and purpose of a clean house and what must be done to achieve this goal, instead of saying, “Because I told you so,” which doesn’t provide a rationale for the request.
A long-term goal of your teenager could be to become an architect after college. In this case, take your student to a college that has a recognized program in architecture and discuss the academic standards that need to be accomplished to gain admission to the program. Your child may begin taking school work and remedial homework assignments more seriously if they understand the correlation between good grades and achieving the desired career. Adolescents need to understand the value of their actions. They need to understand the purpose of the requests, and the consequences of not completing the task.
Take Action Now
It is reasonable to let your adolescent take more responsibility for his or her education as maturity evolves, but if an issue in academic focus lingers, you may need to start making a more active role in your child’s education. Be aware of the assignments and projects assigned to your student. If the workload is overwhelming, help your teen find a suitable place to begin the work and then break up the work into a manageable section. This method will make the task seem more achievable. The best resource at your adolescent’s school is the teacher. Ask the teacher what the issues are with your student and the potential ways to address them. Taking an active role in your child’s education will ensure that the necessary coursework and learning are accomplished.
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Licensed Adventure-Based Addiction Treatment
Is your son struggling with addiction or life-controlling issues? The Teen Challenge® New Adventure Treatment Center provides specialized drug and alcohol addiction treatment, plus optional ongoing educational improvement, and behavioral therapy. We work with the whole person, solving the underlying initial causes of addiction, getting these addictive substances out of the boy’s system, and giving enough time, encouragement, and training to ensure the habit doesn’t return. We offer a complete solution for teenage boys ages 14-17.
"NO WARRANTY" LEGAL NOTICE: While independent outcomes studies have shown very high recovery rates for indiviuals in our programs, we cannot guarantee recovery for any particular individual. Recovery and future abstinence from addicting substances and the effects that such substances may have on the individual or their life, actions, or their future are entirely dependent on the individual and how well they apply the principles we have taught them. We are an educational institution, and how the individual in our program learns from what they are taught and modeled here, is totally up to them. Individuals who stay the full term (until graduation) have much better long-term recovery from addicitons than those who do not.